Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Starting Week #9: Weigh in & This Week's Challenge

OK guys, I need your help. I'm gonna cut out all the crap this week and get right to it. This past week I went overboard. Way overboard. So overboard that i'm embarrassed and ashamed at myself. I need ALL of you to help me out. Any tips, advice, websites, etc. will help. I've gotten to that point in my weight loss where it's make it or break it. It happens every time I try to lose weight. I do well for a week, two week, a month but then one day, it's like a switch goes off in my head head that says to go back to old habits. I don't like old habits and I don't like myself when I return to them but I can't help it sometimes. I want this time to be different. This past week was an eating frenzy! I don't know what got into me and why I felt the need to eat like man with no satiety but I did. Look, the past cannot be changed, what's done is done and what weight I put on cannot be removed instantaneously. Anyways, there's no hiding it so I mine as well just come out and say it.

Weight: 230.8     Gain: +3.6lbs

Now, i'm not defending myself, my actions or my thoughts for last week, but I will say this. Last night (about 10 hours before I weighed myself) I ate a whole bowl of popcorn in which I added salt. Obviously this made me very thirsty so I drank lots of water. Throughout the day yesterday I realized that I ate some pretty salty things. Now, what i'm thinking is that some of the weight that I gained is coming from water retention because of the salty foods I ate. I know, I know this is not an excuse you're absolutely right but i'm just trying to justify the large amount of weight I gained.

Overall this was a horrible week in terms of food, staying on track and eating well. I ate barely any fruits and veggies and I overate almost everyday. At night, I also binged a few times. Honestly, I have no explanation of why I did this. I won't lie and say I cried myself to sleep at night and that I felt horrible for doing it. No. Instead, I will say that it felt good to eat and drink what I wanted. It felt good to not have to watch out all the time. It felt good for about 3 minutes. After that, I felt horrible. I felt like a failure, like I was throwing away all my hard work, and I felt like I was letting myself down. I know i'm better than that and I know the "feel good" time is not worth it in the end. I even had a stomach ache on 2 days. That's why I need your support and your help.

In the challenge department I did pretty well. I did not read the book everyday for 15 minutes because I forgot the book at work for the weekend. However, during the week I read the book for over an hour each day so it makes up for what I did not read on Saturday and Sunday. This week's challenge will be difficult challenging and less measurable than the other challenges. This week's goal will take will power, concentration, positive self talk and motivation. This week's challenge is getting back on track with eating healthy, smaller portions and losing weight. Simple enough and I don't need to explain any further.

Once again, please send me your positive vibes, your well wishes and any words of encouragement. I will truly and deeply appreciate them and use them as motivation.

Here's to a better week! Take care all.

Monday, February 20, 2012

Starting Week #8: Weigh in & This Week's Challenge

So this week was a very stressful week to say the least. I knew it would be just from the way last week started. However, I did my best to stay on track with my weight loss. I ate as well as I could and all I kept thinking about was the weight I GAINED last week. I was letting it act as a motivator to me. It was a great motivator as I got right back on track. Even after all the stress I did manage to lose weight this past week.

Weight: 227.2     Loss: -2.6lbs

In this past week I also went out to eat once and went to a hall party once. I ate quite a bit at both and the hall party also included lots of alcohol. To tell you the truth, I did not hold back at all that night and I do not regret it at all. I had a great, memorable night with friends. Also, one little, teeny weeny addition to this week: I GOT ENGAGED! After 9 years with my beautiful girlfriend, I can now call her my fiance!

As for the challenge, I completed it in part. My goal was to go to the gym 3 times. I did go to the gym, however I only went 2 times. I got a good sweat out of it each time and felt accomplished. I was suppose to go for the 3rd time on Sunday but the stress was too overwhelming and I was not thinking about that at all. Not a good excuse but I was pretty helpless to the stress.

This week's challenge will be a little different. Instead of it being a weight loss challenge, it will be a general well being challenge. I have a very good book about worrying and stress. I know it could help me at least a little by reading it so my challenge is to read this book on stress and worry every single day for at least 15 minutes. Another reason I put this as a challenge is because I very rarely read and if I start a book, I usually give up on it after a few days. Putting it as a challenge will motivate me to read it!

Hope you all have a great week!

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Starting Week #7: Weigh in & This Week's Challenge

Hey everyone, hope you all had a good weekend! Mine was relaxing and not really extravagant. Went ice fishing for the first time which was awesome! Besides that my whole week was pretty regular. Was stressed beyond belief for most of it actually. It's not a stress that will go away any time soon either. I would explain it to you all but it's a long story. Anyways, as you would imagine, the stress had a negative outcome on my weight loss. This week, for the first time since I started this journey, I gained weight.

Weight: 229.8     Gain: +.2lbs

Even though I only gained .2lbs, it's still a gain in my eyes and I classify this past week as a failure. To tell you the truth, the way I ate I thought I would've gained much more than that. I only really watched what I ate about half the time. The other times I kind of stuck to it, but there were 2-3 days where I went completely overboard. It was wrong and it's a cliche to say, but I ate out of emotions. This week will be better.

My goal was half successful as well. I ate many fruits and veggies but some days it was difficult to get to the 5 servings I was looking for. Some days I ate more and other days I only ate 2 or 3. On one of the days, I made a delicious vegetable soup with carrots, celery onions, garlic and mushrooms. It was delicious and packed with vegetables.

Since I hadn't accomplished it last time, my challenge this week is again to go the gym a minimum of 3 times for a duration of 1 hour each time. I believe this is crucial at this point of my weight loss. It's getting more and more difficult to remain motivated especially with the stressful times i'm in right now. Going to the gym will allow me to gain an extra boost in losing weight and will also allow me to forget my problems for the hour that i'm there. It's the right challenge at this point in time.

That's it for now folks. Send me your positive vibes, i'll need them in more ways than one!

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Letting Myself Go...

The last 2 days have been very difficult for me. I'm not going through some traumatic event, I haven't lost my job, I haven't broken up with my girlfriend and my parents are not getting divorced. It's been difficult for me because i've let myself go. I felt that since i've lost so much weight, one day of messing up won't hurt anything. I've gotten to this point multiple times in the past and many of those times were the moments I gave up on losing weight. 1 day turned into 2 days and 2 days turned into 2 weeks. Well, not this time. Let me explain my thought processes of the last 2 days.

On Monday, I weighed myself and I was ecstatic about how much weight I had lost. Then I thought about how much weight I had lost total, and I was completely blown away! I figured that I would reward myself by not watching what I ate all day. Now, I didn't stuff my face with chocolate and cookies and chips all day, but I did eat more than average portions. Then, THE time came. The time that usually haunts me, the time tricks my stomach into telling me it's hungry, the time I like to call "After 11 p.m.". Yup, that's the time I have difficulty with. I am known to binge after that time. I have been excellent at not doing so since i've started this adventure 6 weeks ago, but Monday night got the best of me. The excitement of losing all that weight got to me and I rewarded myself a little too much. I binged quite a bit that night and ate almost anything I could find. I felt like crap after doing it though. For the first time in a long time, I was not proud of myself.

Today, Tuesday, was another story. I was stressed all day long because I was going to the doctor to get the results of some routine blood tests I did last week. The doctor called me on Friday and told me he wanted to see me. That's never a good sign. I was worried and stressed all weekend and all day today. For the first half of the day I ate well. Had breakfast and a light lunch. Then it was off to the doctor's office. When all was said and done, I was healthy! I was going to LIVE! The only thing was that my cholesterol was .05 more than the ideal limit. He assured me that this was nothing to worry about at all and that I should just keep it in my mind. I felt like I was on cloud 9. I felt rejuvenated. I felt happy. And what am I known to do when i'm happy? I eat of course! I ate a large supper then I snacked almost all night. I'm embarassed to say but I even had a large bowl of potato chips. Once again, I felt like crap after doing soon and I still feel like crap while writing this sentence. Needless to say, I was not proud of myself.

Will I let this get me down? No. Well I continue this trend tomorrow? No. Will this mark the end of my weight loss journey? HELL NO! I intend to get back on the right track tomorrow morning as soon as I get up. I had my "fun" for 2 days, now it's back to work. I don't feel proud that I did this but in some way I felt like it was necessary. It was necessary to feel what it's like to get off track and to not feel good about it. Eating less and eating healthier foods is difficult sometimes but the feeling you get when you step on that scale is priceless and it's better than any feeling you get after eating a large bowl of potato chips.

Starting Week #6: Weigh in & This Week's Challenge

It's Monday again and that means one week is over and new one begins. I hope you guys all had a great week and more importantly a great weekend! I had both a decent week and a decent weekend. When it came to weight loss and eating better, I had a great week! Once again this week I successfully lost weight. Again, I worked hard to fight off cravings and really watched what I ate. I know this weekend was also suppose to be my reward, but I didn't reward myself yet. I think I will go for that delicious poutine this weekend though. The reason I did not was because I went out for a work supper on Friday. The food was delicious but it wasn't very healthy. It was a high end Greek restaurant. We ate lamb, chicken, lots of bread, fried calamari, octopus and fried honey balls for dessert. Since I know I don't eat there often (once a year for these work outings), I decided it was a good time to splurge and not hold back. However, since I did that, I also told myself that I wasn't going to have the poutine on Saturday night. It was a difficult decision to make but it was well worth it in the end.

Weight: 229.6     Loss: -3.4lbs

Honestly, I haven't felt this great in years. I feel lighter, my clothes fit looser and i'm sleeping better. These are all great feelings and they definitely outshadow all those times I was fighting cravings in my head.

Last week's challenge went great! I didn't add any salt on anything. And to be quite honest, I got by just fine. I still am a salt lover and I won't lie by saying that I won't overdo sometimes but I will definitely think twice about it. Many foods are great just the way they are. This week, my challenge is to eat 5 portions of fruits and vegetables each day.

Oh, I almost forgot. Later this week I will share with you a delicious, healthy and filling recipe for a simple chick pea soup. I made it on Saturday and my girlfriend and I loved it!

Have a good night all!

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Thinking Further than Right Now

Losing weight means you will need to be making sacrifices whether that means eating less ice cream, doing more exercise you don't enjoy too much, or drinking more boring water. When we sacrifice something, it's because we are expecting something to come of it, something good. In our case here it is losing the weight, looking better, being healthier, etc. Some of us find that making these sacrifices for a long enough period of time is worth it. It's worth it because we will reach our goals of losing those 10, 15 or 50 pounds. Other feel that the effort required is not worth it and they give up. This is a fair conclusion and maybe when the time is right those people will realize that the sacrifices today are worth the outcome tomorrow.

This is is a vague way of saying what I want to say. While at work today, I had a major craving for cookies. Our cookies are delicious, moist and full of chocolate. My hand almost had a mind of its own, but I gained control over it. My thought process was as follows: I can eat the cookie now and feel great now or I can not eat the cookie now and feel great in a few minutes, in a few hours and even tomorrow. I did just that and I feel great as we speak. My will power came through and i'm proud of myself for it. No one said losing weight is easy, in fact it's one of the most difficult things we choose to do. If we always think about instant gratification then our goal to lose weight will never work. You must think about long term satisfaction, about feeling proud of yourself and feeling accomplished when you step on the scale in a week from now!

Just remember the near future instead of the present time. Yes, sometimes the present time will win and we will give into our temptations. This is completely normal and in some way, i'd say it's necessary. As long as this is not the reality most of the time.

I hope this made sense, as I am extremely tired but felt then need to write about this. Have a good night guys!

Monday, January 30, 2012

Starting Week #5: Weigh in & This Week's Challenge

Let me start off by saying i've been lazy. I haven't written an entry in a week! I have no other explanation besides sheer laziness. Well, I have been busy! I've been busy losing weight! Ok, I can hear the crickets on that one...

Anyways, today is Monday and that means the end of one week and the start of another. In terms of eating, it was awesome. I controlled my cravings (most of the time), ate healthy most of the time and drank lots of green tea and water. I had no real special events this week either which helped me out quite a bit. The weekend, once again, proved to be a little difficult but I made it through. Friday night we went over to a friend's house and of course she had some delicious sweets on the table. I did have the sweets and I didn't really hold back either. I didn't over exaggerate but I did enjoy myself. Saturday night I got together with some other friends and they also had some snacks on the table as we played board games. I had a few candies (2 or 3) and half a glass of cola. That's it! One thing that is important to mention is that to compensate for the extra calories I took in during those times, I took in quite a few less calories during those days.

So that bring us to the question, did I lose weight this week? The answer is simply yes.

Weight: 233.0     Loss: -2.8lbs

This brings my total to 12.4lbs lost! I am very proud of myself, and I will admit ti did take lots of hard work and effort. Is it worth it? Hell yea! I feel better, look better and I fit into clothes I didn't fit into before. I even have to get rid of some clothes because they are too loose on me now! It's a great feeling.

A couple of weeks ago, I also set my rewards. My rewards were set at 10, 20 and 30lbs. Well, I have surpassed that 10lb mark so that means its poutine time for me! For those who don't know, poutine is a Quebecois specialty which consists of french fries topped with cheese curds topped with gravy. DELICIOUS! I now know what i'm doing on Saturday night!

Last but not least, it's time to talk about weekly challenges. In this aspect, I was a total failure. I did not go to the gym at all. I wanted to, but my mind was simply not there. There is no valid excuse for not going so I won't try and make one up. The week has come and gone and I can't take back what's been done (or not done in this case) but I can set myself another goal for this week. This week's challenge will be not to add extra salt to any meals or snack food. If the meal has salt in it, then fine, but I will not add more salt to what is already in it. I love salt and I usually put more than I should but I know this is not good for water retention. Some may argue that it isn't good for blood pressure either but evidence is inconclusive. Either way, I am going to cut down on my sodium intake this week!

Hope all of you had a great Monday and i'll catch you guys later this week. Good night.